Morning Prayers

I continue to pray every morning in the sanctuary during this season of Advent. And today there were 4 of us who listened to the reading from our devotional and then scattered around the sanctuary in individual silent prayer. At the end we gather together and I read a blessing that has been randomly selected but always seems to fit exactly.

I am preaching this weekend on the Bethlehem star as a star of unity. And could not help but recognize the unity - the connectedness - I experience on these mornings.

This morning I found myself praying for particular people
for those I am encountering who are grieving - a colleague whose son was killed last weekend, a woman whose daughter died in October, those whose loved ones have terminal cancer
for those who are suffering physically - the list is long
for those who are waiting - especially lifting up Brian and Allison waiting to bring baby Charlie Home
and I prayer "Lord Jesus, I pray that we might in our mourning, our hurting and our waiting trust in your presence and your love and your power at work. In the midst of everything we say that you are the bread of life, but it is not always apparent in the moment. But we pray in faith."

What I realize is that I feel so connected to people as I pray for them and stand with them in their situations. They may not have any idea how much I care, but I do believe that prayer is such an important part of our unity in Christ. And it is not only prayer for others - but prayer with others.

We spend most of our time together in silence, each of us speaking to God in our own way but what a connection we have as we gather together in the morning.
It is a mystery, of course, this unity.
But most of all it is a gift.

Living in my reality

I woke up early this morning and looked outside expecting snow and ice. yes, there is ice on the windshield but no snow.
Then turned on the TV and found all the schools cancelled and the weather people warning us about streets and sidewalks that are icy. Be careful!

So I think I should stay home. My secretary should stay home. We should not come and pray this morning. But can't find my cell phone to make this happen.
And, after checking purse, car, coat pockets and of course, calling deduce I left it at church! So, I guess I will try to go to church.

And then the surprise - no ice on my driveway or street. There are puddles of water from rain but no ice and so I go to church and pray and now write this.

All of which speaks to me about how easy it is for me to panic and start with other people's warnings. My fear can paralyze me and stop me in my tracks.
But the "lesson" which I keep learning over and over again - is that while there may be "ice" for some there is not "ice" for all.

So the spiritual lesson is I need to embrace my own reality and see what is here and now.

Wish upon a star

The Advent devotional reading this morning ended with this sentence: "whenever I stand there under those rising stars, I am again filled with a sense of awe and possibility that the life God envisions for us is possible and dreams can come true."

In prayer I pondered the dreams of my life. What are they? What are God's dreams for me? I have this great sense of wonder and awe at the events of this past year in my family - on daughter who moves into her dream house in Reynoldsburg, another daughter moves into a new calling and a marriage and another daughter who is expecting a baby. All of these things came slowly - and are true gifts. But for me, what? I don't know.

As I sat in the sanctuary I looked at the banner with the star of Bethlehem and the words "Come, Lord Jesus." And thought that is what I want, need and dream of. Come into my heart and rearrange things. So that eventually my thoughts will be your thoughts and my will your will. My dream.

I write and then realize that as always, my mind is wandering - thinking about health and finances and so many other issues of life at the age of 64. Suddenly I am in a place of fear, my head hurts and I feel stuffed into my jeans. No wondering and resting in God but in that place of discomfort and even shame. How quickly it can turn.

And so the dreams emerge - dreams of living in a place of inner peace and deeper love and acceptance. Despite my humanity or maybe in the midst of my humanity.

And a verse comes to mind - "Let not your heart be troubled, believe in God believe also in me"

And I write - Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.

We conclude our time of prayer with a blessing by Maxine Shonk. Picked at random.

May God receive you in your vulnerability, in times of limitation may you become susceptible to God's care for you and overcome with God's power in you. May you open yourself totally to the unconditional love of the God who created you and knows you perfectly in this moment.
In your own needy places may you learn how to be in communion with the vulnerable ones around you. May the God of UNCONDITONAL LOVE bless you.

Advent Begins

Advent is, of course, the four weeks before our celebration of the birth of Christ.
This year one of my Advent disciplines is having morning prayers in the sanctuary at 8 AM. Today was the first day. We are reading from a devotional that we purchased and then sit in silence. I have decided that I will be journaling and would like to share on my blog some of my "ruminations"

The reading talks about the "confluence of emotions" of this season.

And yes, that is what I feel.

With the aftermath of a surprise party in my honor, time with family at Thanksgiving and the announcement of a new grandchild, yes, I feel so full!

And yet here at the beginning of the season of Advent, I look out the window at the bare trees against a grey sky...there is a sense of emptiness, waiting, not yet.

And at the same time I sit in a sanctuary that is decorated with lights on trees, Christmas banners and a nativity announcing the birth.
And yet, I am waiting, not ready, just beginning to prepare
There is a "confluence of emotions" - full and empty, satisfied and waiting
And most of all sitting in HOPE

What I love about being woman of faith on a spiritual journey is the understanding - or better yet, the awareness - of the possibility of spiritual growth. There is always more with God.
Always more.
And this season gives me a sort of framework to open myself to more from God, and more for God.
And opening myself to the possibility of new birth - in some new way Jesus may be born within me. Again. This year.
So today I start a day in reflection and prayer and, I hope, openness.
Sitting in the "confluence" and trusting that somehow God is working within my soul.

First, Thanksgiving

Today is the second day of Advent and I want to write about that - but first I have to do a quick catch up - Thanksgiving.

No, not just the holiday - but a recognition of the blessing of the past week - it has been almost overwhelming.

First, Karl Road Christian Church surprised me with a reception in my honor on the 24th of November. I am known as one who does not like surprises (especially in worship!) but this was wonderful. They lured me into fellowship hall to say grace for the chili cook off which had been advertised for that day. Instead I am greeted by people yelling surprise (I think - or maybe it was "happy anniversary") and looking at a sign that says Margot Connor, Happy Anniversary. I was literally speechless as I looked around and tried to take in that there was no chili cook off - instead this celebration of 10 years of ministry. And there were kind words and a tree full of gift cards. It was a great blessing.

and the week progressed with more blessings - like the honor of taking Reagan and Alyse to the movies to see "Catching Fire." I don't know why they want to go with me instead of Mom and Dad, but I am so grateful. I love to be with them and watching them interact. And best of all, Kacey ended up watching with me and then we had dinner. A real gift all the way around.

And then there was Thanksgiving at Wyandot Woods in Hocking Hills. Chuck and I had our own cabin and so we had privacy and time away from the noise and clamor of Kacey and Marnie's families but every morning the kids came over for breakfast and games with Ogram. And I taught them Indian poker, 21 and Oh Hell. Yup - that is what a grandma does.

And then there was the announcement that Marnie and Erik are going to have a baby in July - so exciting for everyone.

What I know about life - this life on earth - is that we all go through seasons. And for me this week was a time of abundance in church and in family life.
I am grateful

A Disciple of Christ

Yes - that is me. Big D - Disciple as well as little d - disciple.
Meaning that I do identify in this post denominational age as a member of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ.) I used to be a Presbyterian, and a Methodist and now I am a Disciple. And I will continue.

I write this after attending Saturday's workshop on the Disciples of Christ at Camp Christian that was led by Glen Carson from the Disciples Historical Society.

He took us back through the history of our denomination - our beginnings in both Kentucky with Barton W Stone and in West Virginia with Thomas and Alexander Campbell.
He talked about the four pillars of the church.

And as he spoke I realized that this is why I am a Disciple and will continue to be.
The four pillars:
1. The primacy of the new testament - we are followers of Jesus and that is what is most important. That the message of the Old (First ) Testament is important but we are a new testament church. And the stories and teachings of Jesus as well as his death and resurrection continue to speak to me every year. Not to mention the acts of the apostles and the letters of Paul and others. This has truly been formative to me and to my faith.
2. We pursue Christian unity - not well - but that is our polar star. We are Christians only and not the only Christians and we do not think that we are the only ones with the truth. We are in competition with no one and we work with everyone to express the light of the love of Christ.
3. We believe in and practice the priesthood of all believers. And we do every week - you see it especially at the table. There does not need to be an ordained pastor in order for us to have communion. And I know from my experience with other denominations that this is huge for me. I could not pastor if my church placed me in anyway above the rest of the congregation. And while we all say this - not every church practices it. And I feel especially blessed by the church that I serve where members do everything I do - visit the sick, Bible studies, preach, lead worship. We are the body of Christ.
4. We have the promise of the open table. Everyone is welcome to come. The initial invitation was made by Jesus. And Glen made a point on Saturday of saying that you did not even have to be a believer. He said that the invitation is for any who are weary and heavy laden. Come. And this table is a place of memory - remembering the life, teachings, death and resurrection of Jesus. But most important to me - it is a mystical place of presence. We gather together in the presence of our Lord.

And so I thought I would write this blog just saying that I have yet to learn of a church that fits what I believe better than the Disciples of Christ. We have a respect for education that comes from our forefathers like Alexander Campbell as well as an awareness of the power of the spirit that comes from Barton Stone.

We are - of course - not perfect in practice. We all have stories of times that churches and regions and even the general church fell away from trusting in God's leading and may have been guided by fear and power needs. But the ideals of who we are called to be as followers of Christ continue to speak to me.

And so, as I reflect on my life I hope that people see in me one who is trying to follow Jesus Christ as a disciple. And I am glad that 30 years ago I found a denomination that fits ME!

A Spirit of Generosity

This weekend I went to a workshop led by Margaret Wheatley on the "Generosity Economy."

She is a writer, speaker and consultant who "applies the lens of living system theory to organizations and communities." (from her website). She is a world traveler and has learned from her work with indigenous people as well as science and nature to see the world with a different paradigm from the "western mechanical" way of thought.

To translate this is what her message is."Humans can get through anything as long as we are connected.". And life's basic building blocks are relationships. And right from the start of our time together she talked about what blocks relationships and our souls: speed and stress. One of our biggest problems is people being dstrcacted. We lose our reason, we lose our ability to think, we lose our moral judgment and our ability to imagine.

Some quotes from the workshop that I am still pondering

- the paralysis of the western culture is dismissing things that we decide are not worth our time. Like developing relationships. We have to learn to be curious about who people are.
- we are all "bundles of potential" that manifest only in relationships
- a biological principal - to create health, create more connections
- Ubuntu - we can only be human together.
- We exist in a bundle of belonging - Desmond Tutu

She talked about the beginning of community - once we discovered fire we moved into community and sat in a circle and told our stories.
What has happened is that we have become more and more isolated from each other.
I thought about the advent of television and a family that sat together and looked at a screen at someone else's story - a sit com or drama that becomes resolved in 22 or 53 minutes. That was my growing up experience - but we still sat together at the dinner table and talked

Now I think people look at separate screens - not even the same story and often do not sit "at table" with one another. The loss of community is profound and of course, leads to loneliness and isolation.

She showed us a picture of a grove of aspen trees and I learned something new. T

Aspen trees are propagated by a root system and are actually interconnected by their root system. The oldest grove of aspen trees is 80,000 years old in Utah! They can moved - migrate - to where the light is. You will never see a single tree - they are connected.

I will write more about this retreat later - but today I cannot help but reflect on what a church is supposed to be. A place of connection for all people -
And sometimes we really are. Other times not so much.
As I have been writing this morning I get a phone call from Don Sexton who wants to know where Ella Mae Lindamood is in rehab so that he can send flowers. There are connections that go on all the time that I don't even realize. The underground root system.

We just finished our second week of our "intergenerational Sunday School" and I have really enjoyed watching the connections and the conversations between people who did not really know each other before. I especially love the opportunity to help adults and youth talk and listen to each other.

Anyway, on this Monday morning I ponder the mystery of connections and how blessed we can be to grow together. And it does involve taking time to cultivate the relationships of our lives.