Rest in Peace, George

This morning we took George our cat to the vets and within 15 minutes got a phone call that told us that George was not going to be able to make it.

George has been lethargic and in pain for 2 days and we thought perhaps he had eaten something - but it turns out that he had crystals forming in his urethra and he a urinary tract infection. Apparently this happens with male cats.

We had a hard decision - it would have cost $450 - $500 for his care for this week with no guarantee that we would not be coming back later for surgery. We cannot afford it.

So, George was euthenized and this afternoon we will bury him in our back yard with a tree or a bush as a marker.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am hardly a pet person and not exactly a cat person. But George was special. We got him about 10 years ago. He was in the barn at the Wood County Historical Society and so we named him George. (after Washington!) He was black and white and pretty independent. Hardly ever meowed - except when he was hungry.

Over the years however, he has spent a lot of time on my lap and often slept with me and Chuck if we let him. My morning always started with making coffee as he wrapped himself around my legs waiting for me to go downstairs to feed him.

The coolest (or the weirdest) thing that George did was that he batted and growled at his tale as if it were the enemy. We always wanted to get a video of that.

He was not good with the grandkids because he was our cat. Not theirs. They were in his territory and he let them know.

We are going to miss George.

home again

Thursday night home again from our vacation.
At some point I will do a whole blog on the retreat with Julia Cameron. It was really wonderful.
There were over 100 women at the retreat on "True North: Finding your Creativity" and the women themselves were impressive. I was really impressed with her format. She taught us and then asked some very questions and then gave us time to cluster and talk. At one point she gave us four questions to reflect on and had us take a walk for 30 minutes. Lots of ways of helping to break through our resistence and to be freed from the inhibitions to create.

So I come home with intention - to continue to do the Morning Pages. I have kept at it every morning for a week. I also bought a new journal for that (of course) and today in the airport - a new pen. I do this all the time - every time I start a new spiritual practice I have to start by buying new. I also got 2 candles in Sedone - one for me and one for Susan so that we can light our candles as we do our morning pages. I also intend to walk in the morning. I just hope I stay with it.

Sedona is so beautiful I found myself looking at real estate ads and thinking maybe Chuck and I should just take a year off and live in a little apartment and I will work in a gift shop. We met many people from the midwest who got "Red Rock Fever" visiting there and just did it! I can understand that.

And what a blessing to be with an old friend. Susan is the only friend I have who knew me when I was 18. And I have no one - except brothers and sister - who knew me as a child. There is a comfort to be with someone who knew you when.

Last night we watched the debate together - which is a treat in and of itself. We both groaned over the 45 minutes of Charlie and George asking questions about misstatements in campaigning and Rev Wright and other peripheral stuff. My sense is that Barak is trying to campaign on the issues and the media just goes for the gaffes (and Hillary thrives on that!).

Anyway, I am back home again and hoping that some of the creativity is going to bloom within me and my life.

Friday in Phoenix

Chuck and I just took a walk to a second hand store and now we are getting ready to go to Sedona for 5 days. Susan and Ken have rented a timeshare.
It should be beautiful there.

Yesterday I read most of "The Writing Diet" by Julia Cameron. The retreat we are going to is being led by Julia Cameron. So, here are some highlights from the book -

1. Do "Artist's Pages" every day. This concept was in her book "The Artist's Way." It means to start the day with three pages written. Three notebook sized pages - 8 by ll. Not journal sized pages. That is a lot of writing. the point is to get out what is within us. She used the image "getting current" which means to get in the current. And the artists pages reveal the blocks to the current. I have done this in the past and know it is helpful. And I recognize that i need it.

2. She writes about walking. And interestingly, I had just come back from a long walk with the realization that I need to do that every day. She quoted someone as saying that the artist's pages are sending (messages to God) and that the walking is receiving. (messages from God) and that is true for me so many times. In walking I have insights that are so helpful in sermons and in just planning my life. She calls them "Alpha Ideas" - thoughts that seem to come from a higher power. She quotes a Zen master who writes about "walking the self" and often I say (to myself!) "I am going to take myself for a walk" Hmmmm

3. She writes about journaling all day long. Keeping a journal with you so that you notice when you eat and when you want to eat. The events of your life and the emotions that trigger you desire to eat.

4. She writes about the 4 questions - when you want to eat.

• Am I hungry?
• Is this what I want to eat?
• Is this what I want to eat now?
• Is there something I can eat instead?

This is not exactly new - but helpful.

I am hoping to literally get myself on track into a healthier way to start the day. I have been a journaler in the past and have not gotten into a regular routine and I have been a morning walker in the past. Now that it is spring - maybe I can jumpstart my way into a new pattern.

The other wonderful event of yesterday was seeing Audrey. What a great coincidence that she was in Phoenix for a Bethany Fellows retreat and yesterday afternoon was their "fun time" and she could get away to have dinner with me and Chuck and Susan and Ken in a cuban restaurant. We sat outside in the patio and had a wonderful meal and great conversation.

I just loved the oppportunity to bring Audrey who I love together with susan and Ken who I love. Wow. What a blessing.

Now today - on to Sedona and a two day retreat!

Walking in Phoenix

A quick post to say that I am on vacation in Phoenix and so happy to be here.
I am sitting alone in my friend Susan's home. I took a long walk this morning which was a blessing. It is different walking in Phoenix than in Columbus. The sky seems bluer, the houses are "southwestern" , the flowers are abundant and so fragrant.

This week is - except for a two day retreat - unplanned time. What a gift.
I have brought four books to read and immediately Susan recommended more.

I look forward to spending time with Chuck and Susan and Ken ---but what a great beginning to be having time alone.

when you grow up.....

I started a new Bible study on Sunday morning and one of the opening questions was: when you were a child - what did you want to be when you grew up?

And as a good leader I went first. And said that I wanted to write broadway shows. I remember reading about George S. Kaufman and many other around the Algonquin table and I thought what a wonderful life to work with other people creating shows. I also always wanted to have a partner. Not to do it by myself. You know - Moss Hart and George S. Kaufman, Rogers and Hammerstein, Lerner and Lowe.

Now, the people I envy the most are the Coen brothers - how cool it must be to do movies together with your brother.

And I realize that in some ways - I may not be writing broadway shows - but I am part of putting together a production every week. We call it worship. I also realize that I want to be part of a team that does that. There is nothing to me that is more wonderful than dreaming up ideas with other people and then later watching them come together on a Sunday morning.

The other part that is so funny now -( that I am as old as I am) is that we make our plans and I usually put the service together early in the week and by Sunday I have forgotten all of the elements and am often awed by how well it all fits together.

Anyway, I realize that I am really blessed to be doing something that is a variation of what I wanted to do when I grew up!
Are you?

PS

I know that my Nora Ephron post contradicts my mini rant
Point being: you can write and say anything if you do it with wit and style!

Nora Ephron

I love Nora Ephron and I have loved her for thirty years. I first came to like her writing when she wrote a column in Equire Magazine in the 70's and have followed her forever. She wrote an article in the Huffington Post that really resonated with me about Hillary Clinton.

Like me, she used to like her and now is disillusioned.
This is what she writes:

"I would like to put myself among the growing chorus of people demanding that Hillary Clinton withdraw from the election. I don't really think it's fair to ask her to withdraw, and I certainly don't believe she's going to; she'll hang in there till the last dog dies, or till she runs out of money, whichever comes first. I'm not asking her to withdraw because I prefer Obama, and I don't think she should withdraw "for the sake of party unity," or whatever current bromide is being flung at her to get her to pull out. I think she should withdraw because I'm losing my mind.
Don't get me wrong, this primary election has been swell. Like Michelle Obama, I feel proud of my country for the first time in a long time. I loved Dennis Kucinich, and I had a big sneaker for Chris Dodd. But now that we're down to two contenders, it's turned into an unending last episode of Survivor. They're eating rats and they're frying bugs, and they're frying rats and they're eating bugs; no one is ever going to get off the island and I can't take it any more.

I am particularly sensitive to this because I'm a woman of a certain age, and this means that part of the pie that passes for my brain contains a large slice called Hillary. I've been thinking about her in a fairly pathological way ever since 1992 and dreaming about her as well. She is me, and then again she's not. I used to love her and I no longer do, but unlike what usually happens when love dies, I still think about her far too much. When she tells a big lie, like her recent Bosnia episode, I can lose hours trying to figure out why. I mean, why? Was it one of those things that she'd said so often that she'd come to believe it? Was it a story that had worked in the past so she thought she'd gotten away with it? Did she honestly think that no one would rat her out? Does she not understand that if you're famous, there's almost nothing you do that someone doesn't have a picture of? I have no idea what the answer is to any of this because I'm not a liar and she is. (By the way, I don't think she was always a liar, the way some kids are born liars and never get over it. I think she was once a truthful person and her lying skills were forged in the early years of her marriage, forged in the crucible of Bill's infidelities and in her role as point person in dealing with them. This is what happens when you marry a narcissist: he spills the milk, you clean it up and your love grows. And then you end up a liar, just like him.)
But the point is that it doesn't matter why Hillary lied; what matters is that I'm hooked on Hillary and on the Rorschach process that defines my relationship with her: she does something, I spend far too much time thinking about it, I superimpose my life and my choices onto hers, I decide how I feel about what she's done, I bore friends witless with my theories, and then, instead of moving on, I'm confronted with yet another episode of her behavior and am forced to devote more hours to developing new theories about her behavior. I don't have time for this.
I understand that asking Hillary to withdraw from the race has more to do with me than it does with her, but that's my point."

Isn't she great?