There's always something

Good and bad

First the good - my numbers are down for the second month in a row which makes me happy.  I had my 14th chemo on Wednesday and tried out the new port and it works great.  I enables me to have two hands free for the important work of reading a book and playing games on my kindle during the 2 hours I am there.  

Also I saw the eye doctor and so far I am not having the side effect of blurred vision.  So far to good.

Also I feel "prayed up" or spiritually healthy.  Tuesday Kim gave me a reiki treatment and it enabled me to feel peaceful going in to the chemo.  Last night John and I went to our first "sound bath" which was a spiritual experience being led with a guided meditation followed by about 45 minutes of various musical instruments.  We were comfortable in the darkened candlelit room and it was peaceful and I experienced God's love and presence in it.  I always need this.

Since I last wrote I did something that was on my bucket list.  I didn't go anywhere but hosted about 16 people at a "Hootenanny" led by my dear friend Mary Wood.  After an Italian dinner we sang camp songs, hymns, folk songs and even a little Frank Sinatra.  We ended with one of my favorite hymns - It is well with my soul.  That is true - it was well for my soul!

And now the bad - I have been having  an issue with sleeping due to my propensity to JERK right before I go to sleep which keeps me awake.  And actually in pain.  Wednesday night I only slept for two hours - or it felt like it.  I called the doctor I got a prescription for trazadone which she had suggested on Wednesday when I got chemo.  

The trazadone worked in that I slept.  However, I was so tired I felt like I would never wake up.  I played pickleball for the first time in two weeks and pushed myself to play through the fatigue.  Amazingly, I did pretty well - I always say that if I don't have to move my body and the ball comes to me, I am pretty good.  But underneath I struggled all morning.

I have since figured this out.  I now take a half pill and it solves the sleeping problem and the  waking up part too.  It seems like this disease leads to complications and problems that need to be solved along the way.  Next week I see a cardiologist because I have a stenosis in my kidney.  I don't know where that will lead.  But there's always something.  Bad and good.

Sermon on Martha and Mary - The better part

Three weeks ago Audrey and I did another mother daughter sermon - this one on the story of Martha and Mary which has been really seminal in my life.  I thought I would share my portion

 

And Jesus says – Mary has chosen the better part

 

What does this mean?  This is a story about hospitality.  About welcoming the friend and the stranger and the savior.  Martha does that.  She welcomes him and does what a good hostess does – prepares a meal for him and probably for his disciples. That is hospitality.  That was clearly the cultural model of the day.

What this text shows us is one more way that Jesus defies our expections of what is needed.  Surprises us! This man is always showing and teaching a new way of living – he extols the compassion of the Samaritan (of all people) , he eats with unclean people, he tells us to love our enemies

There is more to hospitality that feeding people – as stressful as that can be.  In fact, he tells poor Martha that her efforts are misguided.

Mary has chosen the better part

The text tells us: she  “ sat at Jesus’s^[b] feet and listened to what he was saying.”  She listens. Paul Tillich has written “The first duty of love is to listen”   She welcomes him and shows her love by listening.  She has recognized in Jesus a person who lives in freedom from fear and anxiety. 

Hospitality in the kingdom of God is an invitation to do more than feed the body  - it is an invitation to feed the soul .  And that happens when we are with God – when we listen.  When we have a holy encounter

Martha is an example of what happens when our souls are hungry

Anger resentment distraction  - people pleasing – caught in a vise – and something is wrong – stressed and distressed - something is missing even though we are doing what we are supposed to be doing. 

Jesus has asserted that Mary has found the better way –

And it begins with listening and receiving.  That is primary.  Serving comes out of the relationship with God.

When we live our life like Martha – consumed with tasks and accomplishment – it easy to fall into the illusion that it is all up to us.  We can become a member of the club that says – when all else fails – Pray

But until then it is all up to me.  After all doesn’t it say in the Bible “God helps those who help themselves?”  Uh NO

Mary has chosen the better part – Listening to the words – putting herself in the presence of Jesus.  Hearing the gospel message of love and grace.

I said – I have been and I am Martha.  I can become distracted and worried about many things.  While my working years are over and I no longer have the stress of deadlines and meeting other people’s need in church AND I still can get distracted with worry.  And – like you – I have many things to worry about.

I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer a year ago and I have experienced lots of reasons to worry.  I now worry about my blood pressure, my low sodium diet and whether this latest chemo is working  I can worry about what is going to happen in the futures.  And, of course I do.

I have learned that I can veer between two positions – I don’t know what is going to happen.  And I do know.  And It won’t be good. 

It was only when my spiritual director invited me into prayer – a time of silence and listening for God that I heard this – All with be well.  I am with you – even unto the ends of the earth.

That was a moment – a peaceful faithful moment when I experienced the better way.  I would like to tell you that I live in that peace and reassurance.  But you know that is not true – I am human. 

Until I remember to listen – not only in prayer alone  but  I listen as the followers of Jesus share their faith and then I remember. God is here and all will be well.     Otherwise the fear and anxiety will overtake me. 

This is a profound story with many layers to explore – but the overarching message is that Jesus shows us the better way

Making a space in our lives – spending time with God’s word – worshipping with God’s people, praying being still

Listening