Martin Luther King Jr

I am now writing a weekly email that goes to my daughters in response to a prompt from Kacey.  This is for “Storyworth” and at the end of the year it will be put into a book.  Pretty neat!Top of Form

 

This week the question was:  How did you experience the death of Martin Luther King, Jr.  This is what I wrote:

 

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I  would like to tell you that I was absolutely devastated the day that Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. I would like to write that I had cherished his writings and his speeches and knew him to be the important prophet, preacher and activist of the civil rights movement. But I cannot.

I was definitely aware of the event of his murder. It was April 4, 1968 and I was a freshman at Hanover College. At that time in my life, my focus was on whether or not Henry Martin would ask me out and activities of the Alpha Delta Pi sorority and my classwork. Probably in that order.

When I reflect back on my teens and early twenties, I realize that I was barely aware of the importance of the civil rights movement that was happening at the time. I was not entirely ignorant. In high school I had discovered the writings of James Baldwin and I recognized the reality of racism. We moved in 1966 from the racial diversity of West Chester, Pennsylvania to the all white Birmingham. Michigan. I was - with all the self righteousness of the young - indignant at the exclusivity of this community.

At the same time, I have a distinct memory of the Detroit riots. I was working at the dry cleaners and our presser, an African American woman named Ellie, lived in downtown Detroit. She was unable to get out of the city for a week to come to work. I did not begin to understand the reasons behind the riots - I only knew how it inconvenienced daily life. The protests were a problem to my sense of order.

It has only been through readings, movies, workshops and life experiences in the past fifty years that I have come to grasp the reality of the stain of slavery that has effected our nation since its beginning. Its ramifications are still experienced to this day.

About ten years ago I went to the Quadrennial for women in my denomination that was in Atlanta Georgia. I went on a tour of the church where Martin Luther King preached. (where Rafeal Warnock is now). What is clear to me is that the church and his faith were foundational to his life and his message. He trusted that God was leading him to speak his truth - not only about racism but also about the evils of the war in Vietnam and the poverty in our nation.

When I pastored Karl Road Christian Church I attended and hosted many celebrations of Martin Luther King Jr. At those occasions, people - white and black - would share reminiscences of the day of his death. Some had walked with him protesting or heard him speak. I am always quiet knowing that my journey has been a slow awakening to my own ignorance, unconsciousness and self centeredness that is comfortable with the status quo until someone has the courage to name the evil in our midst.

Even at the cost of losing his life.

Reading

Last year I made a plan to read 75 books and once I started dating John that pretty much went by the wayside.  The reading I have done in the past has been a lot of audio books as I walk or live in the house.

These days most of my books have been on kindle reading books I get through the library.

Right now I have one book going - "Dinner With Ruth "- by Nina Totenberg which is about her relationship with Ruth Ginsberg.  I love it and am reading it slowly.  I am getting ready to go on a trip to Phoenix and Kim lent me the latest Louise Penny book and I look forward to reading that.

As I look through my books from the past year I can see there has definitely been a theme.  I have my regular authors that I read - John Grisham, John Sandford, Michael Connelly and Louise Penny.  None of these ever disappoint.  I started the past year reading everything I could by Adrian McKinty, who writes about an Irish detective.  Before that I read through Anne Cleves books about Jimmy Perez.  It is fun and satisfying to find a writer and follow a character. What these books have in common is a central character who is essentially "Good ."  I am at the point when I read books or watch TV or movies - that if there are no likeable characters I stop reading or watching. 

This past year I have read at least 10 books about the Trump administration and politics in general - like David Axelrod's "Believer", Lis Smith's "Any Given Tuesday", Mark Liebovitch's "Thank you for your Servitude", Peter Baker's "The Divider', Maggie Haberman's "Confidence Man."  I think I am done for a while. There is something about the political process that fascinates me.  It can be as  much of a calling as ministry or teaching. 

My guilty pleasure is reading biographies of famous people.  I really enjoyed "The Palace Papers" by Tina  Brown and "Live Wire" by Kelly Ripa.  We all have complicated lives and are working through questions of meaning and purpose and living in the wonder and messiness of family life.

And then there are the spiritual books that I slowly savor.  Right now it is "Common Sense Spirituality" by David Steindl-Rast.  I have been spending time with this book for over a month. 

As I write this I realize that reading is an important part of my being "centered."  Like every activity,  it is "both and."  Reading can be an activity that stimulates the mind and opens us to new ideas and it can be like a narcotic numbing us and closing us off from people.  Over my life, it has worked in both ways for me.

This year I am not going to guess how many books I will read.  I hope to read more "literature" and books that will stretch me.  I was looking up quotes about reading and like what CS Lewis writes:

"We read to know we are not alone."  YES - and it is a special blessing to share the books with others and understand that we are on this mysterious journey of life together.  And reading helps!

 Smith and Live Wire by Keppy Ripa. 

Happy New Year

It is actually January 2nd but it is my first post of this new year - 2023.  

We had a New Year's Eve party and I shared trivia about some of the things that people do to welcome in the new year.  We partied and drank champagne at midnight and said Happy New Year!  Yesterday on the first we had pork, mashed potatoes and sauerkraut with Marnie's family and last night John and I each ate 12 grapes for good luck.  

Then there is the question of resolutions or "intentions."  Yesterday a word emerged when I was praying.   It is going to be my  word for the year.  That word is CENTERING.

As I look back on the past year I am in wonder at all the changes that have happened in my life.  Last year I traveled a lot - trips to Shaker Heights, Florida, North Carolina, Chicago and Europe. I am no longer working at a church. I am now  living with and engaged to John Anderson.   And I sold the last house I will ever own.  In some ways, I feel like I am still catching up with myself. 

Those are the outward changes and then there are the inward changes.  There has been healing from years of deep grief .  And whatever happens inside of us as we live into the reality of the changes in body and mind through aging.  I live with more fear of falling, more awareness of the  effects of sun damage on the skin, more concerns about forgetfulness.  There is whatever happens inside of me when I look at my laugh lines (aka wrinkles). There can be a disconnect between who I think I am and who I see in the mirror.   

The point is, as  life inexorably changes, I can get overwhelmed.  My only hope is to have practices that help me to CENTER myself on God's presence, love and guidance.  That is how I have a hope of finding something that looks like "inner peace."  

So, my word for the year is CENTERING and my intention is to engage in practices which will help me to find the still small voice within.  There is such a thing as a centering prayer as described by Father Thomas Keating.  That is good but my use of the word centering includes other practices. 

- Breathing - Breath prayers - breathing in the love and breathing out the anxiety

- Gazing - looking at nature and what God wants to reveal.  Someone once said that creation is God's first language.  Gazing at a tree, or a cloud, or a bird, or the water and asking God to show me can be very helpful.  I am so blessed to be living in a house of windows - so that when the weather is too cool to sit outside, I can still gaze outside.

- Music - either playing or listening.  Sitting and hearing music and allowing it to fill my soul can center me in ways that nothing else can.

- Reading - I have a home full of books that I can dip in and out of.  Reading slowing and savoring and asking myself what is the word to me today.  It can center me.

-"Pray as you Go" - This podcast is always helpful.  It begins with music and includes a scripture and questions for reflection.  It often reveals a message that I need in that moment. 

- Writing - I write to get it out - whatever "it" is.  I write to express  what I think, I write to uncover and discover what I am feeling.  My writing on this blog and my writing to God in my journal.  Writing is a discipline and a  mystery and a gift.  

We had a New Year's Eve party and I found myself remembering being a young woman in my 30's who literally could not imagine that I would be alive in 2023.  And I never imagined that at 73 I would still be dealing with the same issues - who am I now?  what is my purpose?  how can I love better? 

And so I learn or remember the primacy of centering on the inner voice of God or the  voice of true self.  Centering. What I know to be true is this - the practice of centering is the threshold of engaging in what Robert Johnson calls   "inner work."  He writes:

"The point of inner work is to build consciousness.  By learning to do your own inner work, you gain insight into the conflicts and challenges that your life presents.  You are able to search the hidden depths of your own unconscious to find the strength and resources that wait to be discovered there."

It is a new year and I will end with a quote by Oprah

"cheers to a new year and another change for us to get it right."

May it be so