Kindness

 Yesterday I led a "Conversation in Contemplation" for the Spiritual Directors Association of Ohio.  We started with a time of reflection on the poem "Kindness" by Naomi Shahib Nye.  It consists of three sections which each explore kindness from a different angle.

What spoke to me in this was the line that kindness is the deepest thing inside and sorrow is the other deepest thing.  In our conversation about this poem someone said that this was an expression of the maturity of kindness. That this kind of awareness of our shared struggle and sorrows in life enables us to become compassionate companions to each other.  Our kindness, "like a shadow or a friend" is born of loss and suffering. 

I share the poem here on this blog and am grateful for the artists and writers who can capture the truth and mystery of LIFE  and how we can live together in love.

 

 KINDNESS

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

 

 

 

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Father Boyle

Last night Audrey, Seth Stout and I sat in my basement and watched Father Boyle give a talk on zoom to a group of us from First Community Church.  I am still thinking about it today.

I have read two book by him this year - Tattoos on the Heart and Barking to the Choir.  They are both stories about the "Homeboy" ministries working with the gangs in Los Angeles.  They are powerful books about the love of God that is lived out through Father Boyle and his team.  I won't even try to describe the books except to say they really made me laugh at times and cry even more.  And half the time I didn;t know why I was crying.  Something about God's work in this broken world.

I took notes like I often do when I go to talks and I want to remember what he said, so I will share some on this blog.

1. He talked a lot about the "community of kinship" and the "beloved belonging."  Part of their work is providing jobs - landscaping, baking, removing tattoos, etc - and having members of various gangs work together.  And in some way that almost defies rationality - warring gang members eventually become like family.  

2. He used this phrase - Love as the Architecture of our hearts.  For everyone - even the "easily despised, readily left out and disposable."

3. He quoted Mirabai Starr: Once you know the God of love  - you fire the other gods.

4.  He said Jesus took 4 things seriously

•  inclusion
• nonviolence
• compassionate acceptance
• unconditional love

5. Jesus came to dismantle messages of shame and disgrace

6. He said: "If we don't welcome our own wounds - we may despise the wounded"

7. Christianity is something we do

It all was very inspiring and I don't want to forget it. 

I recommend his books

 

April Snow

It is interesting living in Ohio in April.  On Monday - my birthday! - I walked 16,000 steps partly because it was such a beautiful warm day.  I mowed the lawn and walked three miles and played pickleball.  And now today, there is snow on the ground.  AND as I look out the window, it is really beautiful - even in April.

I am now officially in my 72nd year and find it is hard to believe.  My motto for this year - "72 with MORE TO DO"  There is no doubt that once you hit your 70's you can no longer call yourself middle aged.  The blessing of my life is that at Gender Road Christian Church where I am serving, there are many nonagenarians - people in their 90's - who are vital and still really enjoying their lives.  It has been a model to me as I - as all of us - continue to age and try to find meaning and purpose in these later years.  Inside I feel about 50, so it is always surprising to look in the mirror and see the wrinkles that are part of aging.

Some of the "more to do" that is my life is my work at the church.  I am preaching this week and living in that period of preparation that often involves a lot of procrastination in which I am still thinking and pondering the text.  The text is from John 10 and is a description of "The Good Shepherd."  I think this only has meaning if we can embrace what it means for us to identify with the sheep.  The sheep can be literally lost without the shepherd - apparently they will feed on a field until there is nothing left unless someone leads them to a more verdant pasture.  Also they lack poor depth perception which means that shadows and dark surfaces are a problem.  I can relate to both of these qualities.  I wonder how many of us looking back on our lives can see that we needed to leave certain places or people or situations earlier.  I can remember going on a silent retreat and getting a message that it was time for me to start the process of leaving a church that I was serving.  It is easy to stay too long and helpful to be connected to God's whispers that can guide us.  I wonder whether this is part of what I want to talk about on Sunday.  We will see.

Anyway, even though I know I stress over the periodic preaching that I do, it is good to ponder and sit with a text and allow it to eventually guide me into speech.  There are people who have suggested that I just take an old sermon out of the file and preach that.  For me, it just doesn't work.  All I know is that I have to be open to whatever NEW THING God is doing with me and with us. We have a God of surprises - like snow on April 21st and an old woman still preaching at 72.  God is ever new. 

 

This prayer speaks to me as I celebrate my birthday this month:

May the RENEWING  God be with you,

reacreating, enlivening, filling you with God's own life.

As you claim this life, cherish it and allow it to grow,

and celebrate it with "thank you" forever etrched upon your heart.

With love may you call others to be renewed and refreashed.

May the blessing of the RENEWING God be upon you.

Room to Grow

I just finished my "Spiritual Growth Group" that meets on Thursdays on zoom.  We are starting a new book study - Richard Rohr's Everything is Sacred.  Its subtitle is" 40 Practices and Reflections on the universal Christ."  We always talk about a book a little and then have a "lectio divina"practice.

This week we talked about the path to spiritual transformation or spiritual growth.  It is a path that leads us from a sense of order, to disorder and then re-order. It is never easy to go through that sense of disorder or disorientation.  To quote the book:

"As we seek to grow in our spiritual lives, we can easily forget that suffering is a prerequisite to experience true transformation.  We need to be prepared to "take up our cross " and let go of old ways of seeing so that we can experience a new reality."

After we shared our own experiences we spent time with Psalm 4 which begins like this:

Answer me when I call, O God of my right!

You gave me room when I was in distress.

Be gracious to me, and hear my prayer

We found we resonated with the lines - you gave me room.  My experience is that when I have gone through a time of distress - God has given me room.  Room to experience my emotions, room to ponder the new reality, room to process and prepare.  I found myself reflecting on almost twenty years ago when I learned that my daughter was gay and how important it was for me to have room to come to a deeper understanding of God's love and presence in my life. I also have felt like I was given room to prepare for the death of my father, my sister and my husband.  It is hard to describe, but nonetheless real.

At the end of our time together today I shared the Psalm as interpreted by Eugene Peterson in The Message.  \\\

Here are his words

When I call, give me answers, God, take my side!

Once in a a tight place, you gave me room;

now I'm in trouble again, grace me!  Hear me!

That is the promise - that we are heard always by our God of love and that God is on our side.  The last verse in the Psalm is this:

At day's end, I'm ready for sound sleep,

for you, God, have put my life back together.

That is the re ordering that God does with us in this journey.  We go through times of distress and distrust and at some point we remember again - that God is good, God is love and God is on our side.

This is what I wrote in prayer:

You, God are putting my life back together

Help me to trust you with everything.

I fear the negative, critical voices that cause me to want to hide outBuit you Lord, are on my side

Help me to trust

to move forward

To trust you will answer my prayer

for You are on my side.

Amen

Keday

^7-8 Than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At day’s end I’m ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together.