Let me welcome your love

The prayer song I started the day with contained these words: 

Jesus Christ, inner light

Do not let my darkness speak to Me

Jesus Christ, inner light

Let me welcome your love

It is a beautiful Sunday morning in Southport and soon I will be walking the beach with Geoff and Vicky.  It is so good to be in this place of hospitality, beauty, and love.

And yet, the darkness of life itself and that is also within me is present always.  There's an awareness of the pandemic that still affects us.Often

 our conversations can turn to the political and the confusion and corruption that exists always and is often revealed. And I live with awareness of mistakes and regrets of the past.  Even here, the darkness - my darkness - wants to speak.

So I sit in a sun filled " retreat space" and say out loud: Let me welcome your love !  I read today's devotional in which these words are written

Yet giving and receiving are at the heart of Christianity.  God's giving and our receiving. Our giving and God's receiving . 

This makes me think of one of my favorite prayer practices: sitting in Silence

and breathing in Gods love for me and breathing out my love for God.

  As I welcome God's love I am receiving grace and mercy.  I begin this day in gratitude.  And feel lifted up. And experience the light of Christs love around and within .

Do not let my darkness speak to me.   

I welcome your love.

When do I

Feel close to God?

Today is Saturday. A day of reflecting on the past week and the question - when do I feel close to God? When did I this week?

I read through my journal and past posts and realize that it is often but most intensely during these morning meetings with the praying as you go, the devotional. The journal, the writing afterward. It is a time of focus - of bringing God, who is always present to the foreground.

And then this question reminds me that throughout the day - whether I know it or not - I really am close to God  even when I am not FEELING it?

Usually I am writing this in my basement at the computer after spending time in “my chair” where I routinely sit in the front room with Ginger facing my on a couch.

Now I am in the retreat space- a built in room - in my brother’s home in Southport North Carolina. The sun is shining and we will soon walk the beach. It is good to be here.

Yesterday I felt close to God flying here. Flying for me is always both tiring and exhilarating. I am with people and yet alone. It was a cloudy, rainy, and sometimes turbulent ride. I always have a window seat. There was a moment when the plane went up over the clouds and we were in blue skies with the sun shining. It lasted about three minutes and was striking to behold the puffy clouds, the startlingly blue sky and bright light of the sun. And then we went back down into bumpy riding and dark clouds and landed in rainy Wilmington. 

Somehow it reminded me of Gods love and grace always present if unseen in the hard times. In the background- over everything and trustworthy.

And so I have peace today beginning this time away. All will be well!

Loving God

Open my eyes that I might see

Visions of hope you have for me

Amen

Give thanks for who you are

 

 This is the title of the day's message in the daily devotional and the text that is included is one of my favorites - Romans 8: 31-39.

It contains these verses:  What then are we to say about these things?  If God is for us, who is against us?.......For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, not angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor power, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

These verses are frequently read at funerals as we understand that God's love is always and eternal.  

I write this as I prepare to go to see my brother Geoff and his wife Vicky in North Carolina.  The last time I flew alone to see them was right after Chuck died.  They provided a welcome sanctuary in the midst of my grief.

I go today with a lighter spirit but a similar longing to see them and to be away.  The last year of pandemic has been long and hard for me in different ways.  One of the great blessings has been my weekly Bible studies as spiritual growth group.  There has  NOT been a time of feeling separated from God. What I have learned - or remembered - is that time with the word in community can really be an anchor to faith - especially in difficult times. 

So, a week away from my beloved companions in Christ - as well as my family - as well as my pickleball buddies - is a good thing.  I look forward to a different kind of solitude and community I find at my brother's home.  And I give thanks for the healing that God has done in my life since the death of my beloved one.

And my faith that says that we are not separated from God or each other - even after death.  I give thanks for where I have been and where I am going.  I give thanks for who I am.

A prayer by Maxine Shonk

May the God of THANKSGIVING be with you,

bringing you to a place in your heart that bursts with profound appreciation. 

 May you be moved to say"Thank you" to your spirit, to your creation, to your struggles, and to your history for the gifts with which they have blessed you.

May your grateful heart spill out into the world that waits for your word of affirmation and your hadn of healing love.

May the God of THANKSGIVING be with you.

BRIN

 

 

 

Ask, Seek, Knock

The text of the day was the Matthew version: 

⁷ “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. ⁹ Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? ¹⁰ Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? ¹¹ If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

As I listened to this today I picture myself  knocking on the door and Jesus opening it and inviting me into his presence.  A presence of peace and love and grace.  And sometimes it is like that.

I just finished preparing for the "Spiritual Growth Group" that I do this afternoon and the text we are using is Psalm 22.  It begins like this:

 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?
² O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;
    and by night, but find no rest

So, it is not always - Knock and the door is opened to you.  The words of the Psalm reflect the human condition and the relationship that we have with God.  It is true that sometimes we knock and search and ask and then.........wait.  Wondering where God is.  Wondering if we have asked in the wrong way or knocked on the wrong door.

The Lenten devotional today said this: "Faith is not the belief that certain propositions about God are correct or sufficient.  Faith is acceptance that God is both forgiving and reliable."

I am a woman of faith and I live in the belief that God IS reliable.  That is to say - that when we ask, seek, knock - EVENTUALLY the door is open.  I believe that .  That is why I pray. And often I wait.   Not always patiently, but always with hope.

Psalm 22 is best known for the first two verses which Jesus said on the cross.  It begins with   21 verses of supplication - but in the end there is praise because "he did not hide his face from me, he heard me when I cried to him"

From you comes my praise in the great congregation;
    my vows I will pay before those who fear him.
²⁶ The poor^[h] shall eat and be satisfied;
    those who seek him shall praise the Lord.
    May your hearts live forever!

And so  I end this rumination remembering that faith is asking for whatever we most need in our lives right now - praying for others and also praying for self.  And trusting that we are heard and loved and  will receive what is needed.. Because God is faithful and reliable. 

And all will be well.

++++++++

May the God of PROMISE be with you.

May God be for you encouragement and guarantee of holiness and happiness.

May you know God's pledge of faithfulness and unconditional love.

And may your own vow of Faithfulness bring you to trust God's promise of life as you ask, seek and knock.  

May the God of PROMISE be with you.

Amen