I arrived home last night from a week in Phoenix and feel
refreshed and ready to do more than “slog through” the winter here in central
Ohio. As I flew there – ostensibly to
visit my friend Susan – I had this thought that I was really going to be on a retreat
– because I really needed it.
For me the definition of a retreat is time away from the
ordinary and familiar and routine practices to rest, breathe, reflect and
reset. The image that comes to me is
that I become like a ship with barnacles that are the thoughts and behaviors that
creep in and start to weigh me down.
So I sit at my computer today back in snowy Columbus
supremely grateful for the opportunity to get away. There were several parts to this trip that
were helpful.
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It is always good to be with Susan and Ken and
in their beautiful home and enjoying their hospitality. Susan is one who loves cooking and I get to
sit in the kitchen and talk and drink coffee or wine as she prepares or cleans
up a meal. It is good and comfortable
and feels warm and wonderful.
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I started every day early and made coffee and
sat with my now – 2 journals! I am
starting a new practice. The first
journal is for daily reflection as I look back and literally recount the events
of the past day. What is helpful about
this is that it affords me time to linger over feelings and recognize moments
of awe and wonder. Throughout my
day. I knew when I was pastoring that I
moved so fast – just because of circumstances – from activity to activity to
activity. In retreat (and retirement!)
I have an opportunity to really ponder the ordinary moments which are
extraordinary.
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My second journal is the one in which I read and
reflect on the readings of the day from the daily lectionary. My old mentor Vonie did this – she would read
the scriptures and write in her journal maybe a verse or a word from each one
and then sit with them. I am finding
this to be a real gift as I seek a deeper
relationship with God. (This is instead of starting my day with "Morning Joe" and CBS News and Donald Trump)
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Today’s readings, for example, contained these
verses: Psalm 86 was about being
surrounded by bullies and our God who “gently and powerfully” puts us back on
our feet.
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Genesis 14: Was about Sarai and Hagar who hurt each other
and Hagar’s statement: You’re the God who sees me.
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Luke 18: Jesus speaks to his disciples who want to
exclude the children: “Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a
child, you’ll never get in.”
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There is so much here about vulnerability and
trust that I need to chew on. It really
gives me a thought that will resonate all day long.
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Our daily activities together were also part of
my retreat as we ran errands, visited grandchildren, tutored on Wednesday
afternoon, attended her book club, went out to eat, played games, watched movies and TV and had many, many many
important conversations about life and love and family and spirit. It felt like we were in the flow and giving
and receiving the blessings of life. It was the stuff of ordinary life and I
savored it there and hopefully I will savor it here as I return.
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Finally,
there are the plane rides that are part of the whole experience and provide a time for preparation for coming and going. There were some
glitches with delays each way - but even still - it is a wondrous experience to get in a plane and go
up in the air thousands of feet and travel halfway across the country. I love the solitude in the midst of the
crowds of people and each way I read an entire book. But more than that, I love looking out the
window at the city, the neighborhoods, the mountains and deserts, the clouds
and just marveling at it all. It reminds
me of Psalm 8 and "what are human beings
that you are mindful of them?" After a
retreat like this the “reset” is that I want to stay and re connect with the
source of all life and at the same time, I know that I am just one of millions
of creatures and creations loved by God.
I am ending this blog with Psalm 8 from the Message:
God, brilliant Lord,
yours is a household name.
yours is a household name.
2 Nursing
infants gurgle choruses about you;
toddlers shout the songs
That drown out enemy talk,
and silence atheist babble.
toddlers shout the songs
That drown out enemy talk,
and silence atheist babble.
3-4 I look up at
your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way?
your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way?
5-8 Yet we’ve so
narrowly missed being gods,
bright with Eden’s dawn light.
You put us in charge of your handcrafted world,
repeated to us your Genesis-charge,
Made us lords of sheep and cattle,
even animals out in the wild,
Birds flying and fish swimming,
whales singing in the ocean deeps.
bright with Eden’s dawn light.
You put us in charge of your handcrafted world,
repeated to us your Genesis-charge,
Made us lords of sheep and cattle,
even animals out in the wild,
Birds flying and fish swimming,
whales singing in the ocean deeps.
9 God, brilliant Lord,
your name echoes around the world.
your name echoes around the world.
