A Growth Mindset

On Saturday I went to a training to become an ESL tutor and learned about the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.  I know that my daughters who are teachers know about this but it was a new concept for me.

The difference is essentially whether you believe that intelligence can be developed or is static.  Intellectually I have come to understand that growth is always possible with effort and openness, but what I realized is that I grew up in many ways with a fixed mindset.  In school I believed that some kids were just smarter and didn't have to study.  Some kids were good at math and others weren't.  Some were good at science and others weren't.  I think I did not really understand that it was possible for me - who struggled with algebra  and science - to learn it.  That real study could lead to  breakthroughs and understanding.   I often gave up and my interests naturally went toward the arts and literature.

Audrey is teaching math and I hear her struggles as a teacher with those kids who don't want to learn and probably don't believe they can learn.  So many clearly have a fixed mindset which is described as:

•  Avoiding challenges
• giving up early due to obstacles
• seeing effort as fruitless
• ignoring useful feedback
• threatened by others' success.

 I wonder how we move from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. It must have something to do with recognizing when we have actually learned something or improved because of practice and study.  I have been to several of Jackson's soccer games and continue to marvel at his (and all the boys) improvement over the years.  They play their positions now and have good ball handling skills and know when to pass and when to shoot.  Clearly there has been a growth mindset here.

Does this then continue to the rest of their lives?  Are they boys who know the value of effort and study in the classroom?  I wonder.  Often we seem to have a growth mindset in one area of our lives but not others.  For example I watch adults struggle in relationships and are often resistant  any suggestion of counseling. They seem not to want to learn about themselves and others but keep believing that nothing and nobody can change

I am  beginning  an  "internship" as a supervisor of spiritual directors  and hope that I am coming in with a growth mindset. Here are the descriptors of a growth mindset:

• Embrace challenges
• persist despite obstacles
• see effort as a path to mastery
• learn from criticism
• be inspired by others' success

What I know to be true is how often we can fall away from openness to learning because we  think that we know more than we do.  We may believe  that we are done growing - especially as we get older. A growth mindset is necessarily vulnerable and ready to embrace challenge and persist despite obstacles. 

My prayer for today is not for growth - but for the growth mindset.  May I be open, vulnerable, willing to learn and try new ideas and behaviors that might lead to the transformation the God desires in my life.

Here is a blessing by Maxine Shonk

May the God of GROWING THINGS call you to ever more wonderful growth and wholeness.

May the horizons of your life stretch far to the east and west, to the north and south

....and in the stretching may you know the wonder of God's universe within and around you.

Through this awareness may you plant seeds of hope in you you meet.

May the God of GROWING THINGS be with you.

 

Who are you listening to?

That is the question of our lives.  I have been watching “The Tudors” about the reign of Henry VIII and it is clear that a king can live in a bubble and the most important question is: who is he listening to?  His advisors change as his wives change and he brings one family in and the other family out.  It affects his relationship with the church and his people and his God.  Who he is listening to

And then I watch our president as advisors move in and out and the question is: who is he listening to?  The generals?  Steve Bannon? His base?  The republican leaders?  The pundits on TV?  The suggestion is that it effects decisions that he is making.  Who he is listening to

And then there is Margot.  Who is she listening to?  Often it is the voices within that tell her that she needs to be productive.  Or the cultural messages that seem to say that her worth is in her efforts and her titles?  Can she hear the voice of God speaking words of love.  She can write about it and talk about it – but can she hear it?  Is she listening to her ego with its needs to control, authority and position?  Is she listening to her inner child who is afraid of the future and wants someone to take care of her?  Is she listening to her soul that desires gentleness, peace, love, beauty.  Who is she listening to

That is the question of my life.  Who am I listening to?   I desire to go deep and to hear God’s whispers and invitations but the other voices can be so insistent and so demanding.  So much that I often just stop trying and numb out in the effort to be present.  But of course, that does not lead to life – but almost limbo.

So today begins again the practice of seeking to listen to the Holy One who loves me. I read, write, pray and trust that in my desire to be present I might receive a word today that will guide me on this journey with God. And may I know that God is a listener for me as I struggle to be faithful.

Today brings with it a trip to the dentist, meetings, and reading.  May I remember that God is here listening to me and offering me blessings upon blessings.

Prayer by Maxine Shonk

May the LISTENING God embrace you. 

May your voice become true and clear in the presence of the God who listens. 

May you come close to the ear of God and entrust your deepest secrets, the unspeakable and the unresolved, the tender truth of your devotion and the fragile residue of the fear in your heart.

May the Spirit pray in you as you open yourself up in God’s hearing.

May God the LISTENER bless you.

Amen