Lets Go to the Movies!

That is a song from "Annie" that I sometimes sing to myself as I go to the movies.  Some of the lyrics are:

 Let's go to the movies..: Let's go see the stars

 Fred and Ginger  spinning madly....

Anything you  can imagine...

Songs and romance.

Life is the dance.

Sitting in the darkness,

popcorn on your knee!

Give the maid the night off!

Warbucks: Turn the kitchen light off!

Grace and Warbucks: Let's go to the movies,

Annie, you and me!

It is a picture of the escape that movies are for people during the depression.  I have been a regular movies attender all my life and for me, there is nothing like sitting in the dark and waiting for the movie to begin.

It is more than escape, however.  The movies that I watch frequently stay with me and  give me images and stories to reflect on as I live my life.  Last Tuesday I saw the movie Detroit  and it was literally the hardest movies I have ever sat through.  And ultimately I am glad I did. It is a gut wrenching and graphic portrayal of the events that happened at the Algiers Motel in Detroit during the riots in 1967.   It received mixed reviews because of the violence and I would have a hard time recommending it to anyone, but I am glad I saw it.

In 1967 I was living in Birmingham Michigan, a middle class suburb of Detroit and during that summer before college I was working at a dry cleaners.  I was hardly aware of what was happening downtown except that the African American Woman, Ollie, who worked the presser at the dry cleaners was unable to come to work for a week. I look back now on my own blindness and unconsciousness to the  terrible injustice and systemic racism that others experienced as I lived in my own  little world.

Two weeks ago I saw The Glass Castle.  Another movie that was hard to watch at times as it explored the difficult chldhood of Jeanette Walls whose parents were free spirited and neglectful.  The movie moved back and forth in time as she came to terms - as an adult - with the reality of her childhood.  At one point, she was dating an investment banker who encouraged her to walk away from her family, but she realized that she could not do that.  She would deny herself.

This has all made me think about the whole business of what to do with the statues of the confederacy.  It is really important for us to remember our history in its entirety.  Some people are drawn to nostalgia and  remembering the "good old days" and either forgetting or denying some of the sinful  history and wounds of our past as individuals and as a country. There is always a voice that tells us that we and they should just "get over it."  But the reality is that our history will continue to inform our present and we can understand and have compassion for ourselves and others when we remember where we have come from and what we have been through.  For me,  films, through the years,  have been a way in which I have come to a deeper awareness about all kinds of issues and historical events. As I look back  I can identify pivotal movies (like Platoon, Schindler's List, The Killing Fields, The Mission) that have impacted my worldview and made me think about things in a new way. They have been a source of illumination and awakening as they help me SEE.

And so, I will continue to go to the movies - not just to escape from life -  but to better understand and appreciate life in all its beauty and complexity.  I pray always for discernment as our country seeks to appropriately honor and remember  past events and people. 

Here is a  blessing of Vision from Maxine Shonk:

May God bless you in your blindness

when it is impossible to see in spite of all your looking,

may God bless you with the ability to envision

a better world and to visualize a healed creation.

May ou be given the gift of prophecy as you share your vision with all who surround you.

And may you help others to see by your touch of compassion and your word of encouragement.

May the God of VISION bless you.

Hidden Things Revealed

When I was at the Camp Christian Saturday we reflected in a small group about our experience of "gazing" by the lake.  Amanda said something to the effect of "hidden things announcing themselves." She referenced how a fish just comes quickly to the surface and then disappears.

That statement resonates with me. As I look at this picture, I think how long you can see a lake or pond as somewhat still and then suddenly an awareness that there is much going on underneath.

I write this as I continue to ponder the events of Charlottesville this weekend.  The racism and violence that simmers below the surface  shattered our illusions of peace and equality in our country. (I recognize the naivete and privilege of that statement, but there it is. It is easy to live in a bubble and assume that everyone thinks like I do.) I believe our president - whose history includes being the promulgator of "birtherism" - is complicit  and woefully inadequate to guide us as he continues to be ignorant, combative and divisive.  All of which can lead me down a path of feeling angry, helpless, useless and very concerned about what is coming next.

My daily meditations include reading from A Spring Within Us by Richard Rohr.  Just that phrase is helpful. There are more hidden things to be announced than evil and violence.  Within this world and within me - there is the compassionate, courageous, gracious spirit of the living God which gives us wisdom to discern what is true and strength to stand up to the powers and the principalities. I celebrate the clergy that gathered in Charlottesville and pray for guidance in my own journey.

It seems to me that there are easy pitfalls here - either ignoring what is happening (amazed to find that my personal trainer on Monday had NO IDEA about any of this) or becoming almost obsessed with it.  Somehow I seek the third way - which right now is pretty unclear but I pray for God's guidance that will be shown to me in some form or fashion.

For now I look to the words of Reinhold Niebuhr:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

Unity

  I was part of the planning team from the Wellstreams Council  who took part in an "Earth Walk" experience at Camp Christian.  It is always interesting to plan an event and not understand how it will affect you when you actually participate in it.  That is what happened to me.

After our opening meditation and sharing circle we each were instructed to walk around camp and find our "spirit spot."  There we were to stay and settle into a state of motionlessness.  We were not to move or strain, but just allow the natural world to sweep over us and engulf us and experience the flow of life around us.

I quickly identified a spot near the lake where I could sit in the shade under a tree and just gaze around me.

 There was a large heron that flew by and seemed to be inviting me to stop and rest.  During our opening prayer time we had received this quotation:

"I become a transparent eyeball, I am nothing;

 I see all the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me;

 I am part or particle of God" 

 (Emerson)

During the hour of sitting, I was aware of all the movement that was going on before me.  Here is what I wrote:

Be Still and Know

And what I know is the nothing is Still.

I sit and see ants on my jeans crawling to my socks

and a teeny tiny bug on the tip of a blade of grass

and a little itty bitty something that has landed on my journal

and a tiny  flying creature hovering near by

It is not still - never still

And the wind is moving the grasses by the lake

and the water is reflecting the trees

    I see glints of diamonds

         that become ripples,

            then crescents

               then concentric circles

The water is moved by the wind and the fountain and frogs and fish                                                     It is not still - never still

And I am not still inside or out

Thoughts careening from here to there and back here again

I am breathing air in and out

My blood is flowing through my body

It is not still - never still

Be still and know the Psalmist writes

and I think - nothing is still here

And I do NOT know but I wonder

Are you  still God? Creator?  Lover of my soul?

Are you the prime mover of this activity ?

Are you moving me?

In the afternoon we were invited to do a walk about and allow ourselves to be drawn to an natural being and stand in its presence and be "in conversation" with it.  As we planned this, I wondered what it would be like, but it turned out to be a rich experience for me.

I was drawn to a purple wildflower that I thought was beautiful (later found out it was an "ironweed" which is a poor name for such a lovely creation.)  It was on the side of a path and the only bit of color in a sea of green.

I literally sat at its feet and allowed it to show me its life.  At first I thought it was standing straight and tall and then I realized there was a lean to the sun.  There were bugs  that landed and went away.  Looking carefully, I could see it was a lot of little flowers grouped together - some budding, some in bloom and some past blooming.

And this is what I ended up writing:

This afternoon in communion with a purple wildflower standing on the side of the road

Communing as we both are beautiful creations of God  who live for a finite time

I watch the bugs, bees and butterflies land and fly away and know that she cannot control who comes and goes 

As so many people have come and gone in my life.

She receives all without complaint or expectation.

She is leaning toward the sun - a life giving source for her.

As I lean toward the Son - the source of hope and life for me.

She is noticed by some and I am sure dismissed by many.

I seek her stance, her singularity, her availability.

Is she a reflection of me?  Is she connected to me?

I never would have expected to feel unity with a wildflower, but I truly did.  There is this sense of connection and oneness in immersing ourselves in nature.  A day like this of slowing down and resting in creation and noticing our connections shifts something within me.  I am grateful to have the time and the ability to be able to do this.

And I write this on Sunday morning after watching the news of Charlottesville yesterday.  It hurts my heart to see the way in which people choose to separate themselves and concentrate on what divides instead of what connects us.  My prayers are with all who are grieving today.  Somehow we have got to move away from arguing and opining to seeking our common humanity and our soul connections. 

If I can commune with a wildflower, surely we can all commune with another living breathing human being. I know that I am an idealist and a dreamer but I am not the only one.

I think of these words by John Lennon and they speak to me today.

Imagine

Imagine all the people living life in peace, you

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world, you

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

 -

Gratitude for New Beginnings

I sit in my prayer room this morning and feel grateful for so much. It has been a full and fruitful summer and it is not over yet.  One of the great blessings for me has been the addition of Audrey into our home as she begins a new life here in Columbus.

She has had her first week of teaching at the Charles School and my joy is listening to her share about meeting the kids, working with teachers and administrators and preparing for the new year.  I call her ET - the person that comes in from outer space (well, actually Arizona) and brings new life to a family.  And that is what she is doing for me and Chuck.

I am also grateful as I watch the grandkids prepare for a new school year.  As I write this, Marnie has taken time off from work to get the girls haircuts and new clothes.  Kacey has posted in facebook the trials of taking a teenager shopping who rejects any of Mom's suggestions.  She is really getting payback here!  I remember it all well and like watching and not having to actually participate in these rituals of the new school year.

This year I am going to start training to be a "supervisor" in the Wellstreams program and am revisiting some of the books that I read years ago.  This morning I reread the preface to the book Holy Listening by Margaret Guenther.  I was struck by these words written by Alan Jones:

  Human life isn't worth living without our willingly accepting responsibility for our behavior, yet that would be too heavy a burden without the possibility of forgiveness. 
Those of us who hope for a more caring and humane world had better be aware of forgiveness (both human and divine) if we are going to navigate the stormy seas of human relations.
Much of the pain could be avoided if we knew how to frame questions about our longings and were willing to forgive one another, even as we seek to make one another accountable.  Spiritual  direction, at its best.

Later he writes:
Margaret Guenther knows what it means to grow into being someone.  There is waiting, stillness, and hope.  "When in doubt," she writes, "I always assume that God is at work, that is, the person is pregnant."

And so my gratitude is for my family  and their new beginnings and the awareness of the possibility of new life for myself and for everyone.   God is at work guiding us as we are - no matter how old - growing into being someone - ourselves!

I am going to end this post with a writing by Melodie Beattie that Audrey shared with her classes this week.

Beginnings can be delicate or explosive. They can start almost invisibly or arrive with a big bang.

Beginnings hold the promise of new lessons to be learned, new territory to be explored, and old lessons to be recalled, practiced, and appreciated.

Beginnings hold ambiguity, promise, fear, and hope.

Don’t let the lessons, the experiences of the past, dampen your enthusiasm for beginnings.

Just because it’s been hard doesn’t mean it will always be that difficult. Don’t let the heartbreaks of the past cause you to become cynical, close you off to life’s magic and promise.

Open yourself wide to all that the universe has to say.

Let yourself begin anew. Pack your bags. Choose carefully what you bring, because packing is an important ritual. Take long some humility and the lessons of the past. Toss in some curiosity and excitement and what you haven’t yet learned.

Say your good-byes to whose you’re leaving behind.

 Don’t worry who you will meet or where you will go. The way has been prepared. The people you are to meet will be expecting you.

A new journey has begun.

 Let it be magical. Let it unfold.

Summer Reflections

I am taking a breath today as two of my biggest summer responsibilities are now over.  I was a faculty member at Advance Conference last week leading daily Bible study.  And since Memorial Day, I have preached at First Christian Church in Zanesville.

One of the biggest takeaways from Camp was the realization of how few of the young people are involved in the life of a congregation.  Many are in a time of questioning about religion and even the existence of God and their lifestyle does not at all include interest in church. Some of have grown up in the church and had a bad experience and others really have not had much real contact. In some ways, this is nothing new for this age group - but as the whole culture moves away from institutionalized religion, it does not bode well for our local churches.

My experience at Zanesville has been really rich for me. I look back on the past summer which included: 10 weeks of sermons written and preached (3 times each!), 5 Sunday School classes, 40 trips back and forth to Zanesville, and many conversations, home and hospital visits.  I feel nothing but gratitude for the blessing of Sunday worship, singing hymns I love (I get to pick them!). exploring scripture weekly and experiencing the mystery of weekly communion.

It has been a wonder to be with people who I knew 30 years ago and often felt a closeness from our shared history all those years ago.  I got to hear stories of their lives - their struggles and successes and see pictures of children, grandchildren, great grandchildren.  What a gift!

It has also been a blessing to get to know the staff of this church - all people who care about the congregation and their pastor.  Dawn is truly the hardest working minister I know and everyone wanted her to have a restful and renewing sabbatical. Kim, their youth minister, had been in my youth group when I was there and it was heartwarming to see her loving and caring spirit with the young people of the church as well as her creativity and organizational skills. 

Yesterday was my last day and it was a perfect ending.  On Wednesdays the church offers a worship service that is mostly seniors who find it easier to come to church in the afternoon than mornings. It is a small and faithful group.  We had a beautiful service and afterward they gave me a journal.  I visited a few people including one woman who has been in hospice all summer.  She has been intermittently conscious when I visited but yesterday was aware enough to pray with me the Lord's Prayer.  I visited one man in his 90's who shared lots of family stories as well as our mutual antipathy toward Donald Trump (note: I did not start that conversation - he did!).  I ended my time visiting someone in a rehab center living with diabetes and neuropathy who just wants to go home.  And we prayed for that.

I leave this time having had the opportunity to give and receive love and it was what I needed.  I have no desire to stay longer but I am just grateful for the richness and the fullness of it all.  The "All" is not just ministry but the blessing of church life and being connected to the body of Christ.  There is something about struggling with God's word together, sharing our lives together and participating in the rituals together that gives meaning and strength to our individual journeys.

I wish I knew how to express this to others - because church life is unlike any other organization that I know. There is no question that we are challenged by the "together" part of being in a church - but in my experience the blessings far outweigh the discomfort.

And now I take a breath and wait.  Knowing that there will be another invitation to go and serve.  At least I hope so.

End with a Blessing by Maxine Shonk

May God bless you when you are reluctant to respond to what is asked of you.
May God grant you a REFLECTIVE heart as you honor your hesitation.
May you be given a heart that is both alert to your inner needs and courageous in serving the needs of those around you.
May you be blessed with a discerning heart as you respond in love to God's invitation.
May the God of REFLECTION make you holy.